What the Hellgate?

What the hell just happened?

I think I just finished Hellgate: London last night. I put emphasis on the "think" part because I'm really not sure. You see, like most people I was intrigued and drawn in by this gorgeous intro movie, but I think it was a sham, they sold me snake oil and took DAYS of my life away.

***Warning: Spoilers Below***
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So as you can see in the video above, there is a well laid path for an intricate and deep plot. A young daughter gets saved because she has a destiny. But in reality, that destiny doesn't turn out to be all that interesting. You get a small hint late in the game that the little girl's father (who you will see in a full intro movie from the game) sacrificed himself so that humanity's survivors could go into hiding, but this is where things start to unravel.

You see, to make the plot a little more unnatural and epic they included these "Truths". They give all these speeches about the virtues that will save humanity, that will allow you to fight the demons, to attack the Hellgate itself. But they are incredibly overdone and the "glamour" fades long before the end of the game. Even the final speech about "hope" seems more of a cop-out on the game's part than anything else, like saying "oops, well we can't build up to a really terrific ending (especially since that might stop us from making tons of sequels), so .. we'll just have to send you to battle in Hell ..."

Then on top of that .. well .. here watch this movie of the end of the game.

Now, have you seen everything? That's you, battling in hell, ouu scary! :p See I know this falls into myth and religion, and that Hell is supposed to be the ultimate "bad place", but really can't you get a little more creative? I mean your dealing with "the dark" which has supposedly destroyed thousands of worlds, why can't you be taken through what you've called a "Hellgate" (accept the fact that it's just some religious archetype that your culture or history provided) and end up on a more interesting wasteland of a world were the demons .. or "the dark" began, or are at least based out of.

On TOP of the poorly pieced together ending, the game isn't really over .. AT ALL .. in any sense of the world "over". They want you to keep playing on and on, until the expansion comes out .. then you can play some more. All the buildup leads you to a battle that you obviously cannot win, and Earth is still stricken with the plague of demons. I mean, there's really nothing good about this ending at all. You kill one big baddy, you lose your sorcerer, if you hang out in the hellgate entrance long enough you'll see that all the templars DIE, and the Hellgate is still there, just hanging out .. letting demons pour through it. They even put effort into developing the pseudo-science/magic of this universe and they don't even apply it to the hellgate (something which must be maintained, or powered, and can be taken down or turned off).

Anyway, I think the moral of the story is that my original fear is partly well founded. Gaming companies are being run as successful businesses, but the business has been inbred into the games. It's all about only putting in enough effort to sell the game, not develop something awesome. Even games like Gears of War ended this way. They only include enough cutscenes and content to keep you playing until the next add-on comes out for sale. I'd love to see how much they spend on advertising and how much is actually spent on the game. On top of this the online was very buggy on its initial release, which was supposed to be a huge part of the game.

For those interested, here's a movie of what looks to be the expansion. Here's hoping it's a little more content oriented.

Mmmmm PORTALicious

I recently read an interview on WIRED.com with one of the original bloggers. This guy looks like he's seen a lot, and done a lot, and missed his barber appointments for the last 10 years, but he made some vital points.

1. Blogging isn't about re-hashing some topic you're interested in, it's about searching for articles that already exist online about said topic, and linking to them.

2. Original BLOGS were just logs were people tracked URLs.

Now these points aren't an attempt at shooting myself and many other bloggers in the feet. I believe part of blogging is sharing an opinion or perspective, that someone else might not have seen before, and hoping that someone finds it funny, or interesting, or enlightening.

The problem with blogging about video games is that there are A LOT of people that do it already, and for the most part you can do a random google search and find out whether or not a video game is worth buying or playing etc. So why read? Well I guess here, and in many other blogs (but not all of them) I will try to stick to the habit of actually posting worthwhile links. That old somewhat scary looking guy had a point, or 10 ...

Useful Portal Links:

Fileplanet Free Maps - These are a fun, but hard, way to fill that empty hole Portal leaves in a wall somewhere (and in your heart) when you finish the game.

Portal Maps Fansite - There are a lot of maps here, and though they seem poorly organized, I'm sure there are some winners.

VG Cats Flash Portal Video - This one is only for when you've finished the game, it will make you laugh and reminisce and want to play it all over again ... maybe for some cake?


So, in case you haven't seen any other sites about Portal, played the game, or heard that the hype is reality, turn off your computer and go to the nearest shrine of video game provisions. Go buy this game, you'll get 4 other games with it in the Orange Box and you too can have cake .. maybe.

New Year, New Fear

To all the ladies out there who used to think of Heath Ledger as a heart-throb I have nothing to say except,

"...what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger." - Joker (Dark Knight 2008)

To all the guys. If you haven't seen this yet, please indulge yourself. It's decadent like a velvet chocolate cake with scary little leprechaun hallucinogens baked in.

Now if they can keep this new birth of the Batman series alive with as much grit and Gothic texture I'd love to see what they continue to do with Lazarus, The Riddler ... and all the other worthwhile villains of Gotham.

And now for something Completely Different!

Actually I lied. I justed wanted to quote Monty Python. This is another fear, relating back to a previous post about the BEASTLY nature of Hellgate: London. I'm sure given the thorough discipline of any high school computer geek you could zip through this game in a few all nighters, but it's taking a hell of a lot longer to get through it casually. I'm lvl 21, and I've beaten a number of big baddies, got some neat gear, and enjoyed it all so far, but I've yet to see another cut scene!

I fear that my most favorite form of video game reward has gone the way of genital piercing, companies only do it once and then lose the balls to do it again. Is it really that painful? (making cut scenes .. not piercing your nibbly bits) Sure it takes time, but you can often use it to market the game, and then the full version of these videos live on inside and out of the game as a vivid memory of awesome moments, forever immortalized in online music videos. I mean, if you've played Diablo do you think it would have been the same without the great story and well placed CG movies to drag you into hell? I really hope this fear is unfounded and I get rewarded with more videos as I finish the games I've enjoyed so far this year.

Back to the grindstone, lvl 25 hear I come!